


Hot in Here (Love in an Elevator)

by Petalene



Category: Glee
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, GKM Fill, M/M, Oral Sex, dubcon, m/m - Freeform, switch klaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:53:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9434813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petalene/pseuds/Petalene
Summary: Determined to get her OTP back together, Sue sets the mood for love in an elevator hoping it will get hot in here and Klaine will kiss. And if at first you don't succeed, turn up the heat!In which Klaine is horny, Sue is devious, Sam is hypnotized, Rachel is confused, and Brittany is Brittany. A reimagining of the Hurt Locker part 2.Fill for the GKM.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Glee. I don't own Love in an Elevator or Hot in Here. If you recognize something from somewhere else, I don't own that either. I wrote this a while ago and finally got around to polishing and posting. Full prompt in the end notes.

Coach Sue dangles a gold pocket watch in front of Sam's eyes, swinging it back and forth. He tracks the shiny metal as Sue says, "You're getting sleepy." 

"I'm totally getting sleepy," Sam says. 

"You're hypnotized." Sue smiles an evil smile. "You'll do anything I say."

"I'm so hypnotized, I'll do anything you say."

"Good. Forget about Rachel."

Memories scatter like autumn leaves in the wind.

"You don't care anymore if Rachel is in love with you."

A brief image of a short girl with long brown hair and brown eyes fades into nothingness. Sam wants to ask about the girl, but he doesn't care. 

What was he going to ask? He can't remember.

"Here." Sue hands Sam a Bluetooth and a cell phone. "Keep this in your ear. When I ask you to spy on Klaine, you come in my office and pull on this trophy to open up the screen. Then report to me." She leans a cheerleading award forward. A piece of the wall slides up revealing a large TV screen showing an empty elevator.

"Oh, my god. I'll come in here and spy on Kurt and Blaine and report to you," Sam says.

"You will continue to obey me until I snap my fingers." Sue's smile widens. "Operation Get Klaine Back Together is a go."

XOXOXOXO

Since when is there an elevator at McKinley?

Kurt frowns at the elevator doors and the sign next to it stating that it will take you directly to the auditorium. He must be seeing things. The lack of sleep has finally caught up with him, Kurt decides as he and Blaine walk closer to the elevator doors. He knows he’s been wrapped up in Blaine issues and not taking care of his business, but has he really been so oblivious that he’s completely blocked the construction of an elevator in the middle of the main corridor?

"Look! An elevator," Blaine says. "Let's take it." He pushes the button, smiling as the doors slide open and he steps inside. 

Kurt follows him in. The size of the elevator causes him to pause. And why another door inside with a "boys" sign on it? 

"Is that a bathroom?" Blaine asks. "Awesome." 

Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong.

In the length of time it takes for the thought to form, the elevator doors slam shut and the lights flicker off. 

“Hey,” Kurt yelps. 

“Wha-“ Blaine stops mid word when the lights reach a dim glow and Nelly starts singing.

Hot in

So hot in here 

So hot in, hot oh!

Kurt opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. Shouldn't the elevator be playing Muzak? And what's wrong with the lights? “We aren’t moving.”

Blaine presses the "open door" button. Nothing happens. He pushes it several times in a row, but the doors remain closed. “Help,” Blaine yells, pounding on the door with his fist. “I think we’re stuck.”

Kurt presses the emergency button, holding his finger on it. No alarm.

A voice pours out of the speaker. Even with the slightly tinny quality, Kurt recognizes Coach Sue’s irritated tone immediately. 

“Hi, Kurt. Blaine. You two have some issues to work out. It's getting hot in there, so take off all your clothes." 

“I demand you let us out,” Blaine says flatly.

"No, your line is, 'I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off.' Don't even try to act like you don't know the lyrics to every single song ever written."

"We aren't singing so open the door." Kurt reaches his fingertips in the seam between the doors and pulls. Nothing happens. 

“Sure, Blaine. Just as soon as you and Sweet Porcelain kiss.”

“What? No.” Kurt waves his arms around. "I'm not some Cheerio desperate for your approval who'll bow to your every whim. Kissing is private for me. We didn't kiss in front of people in high school and we aren't starting now."

“You two are obnoxious when you're apart. You're my OTP and you know you're getting back together eventually, so pucker up sugar lips.”

"We got back together three days ago," Kurt says quickly. He glares at Blaine and whispers, "Back me up."

"Oh, um yeah," Blaine stammers. "I broke up with Dave right after you gave me the paper saying we’re related. I've stayed over at Kurt's place the last few days and we had sex all night, three times now, so you can let us out. We need to go see our glee clubs sing."

"Nice try," Sue says. "You suck at lying."

Kurt pushes the button again. “Listen to me, Sue. You let us out of here or I'll scream to high heaven.”

“Go ahead. The elevator is soundproof.” The speaker clicks off.

Blaine pats his pockets. "My phone is in my bag. You have a signal?"

Kurt checks his. "No bars. And I'm at four percent.”

"You need to keep it charged."

"You don't even have your phone-" 

The top of the back wall falls forward, coming towards them and Kurt shrieks as he throws himself against the door, ducking and shielding his head with his hands. An instant later, Blaine's body covers his, arms wrapping around Kurt. 

Kurt peeks between his fingers as a large Murphy wall bed folds out of the back panel, complete with a white fluffy comforter and two pillows. Any doubts about what Sue expects dissipate as red rose petals flutter from the ceiling and a disco ball descends, casting multi-colored lights. 

Just when Kurt thinks his heart is slowing back to normal, a panel opens in the wall across from the bathroom and spits out a red heart shaped box. It skids across the floor to the foot of the bed and stops.

Blaine straightens up and moves closer, reaching for the lid.

“Are you crazy?” Kurt demands.

“No. I’m curious and I might be a little in shock.” Blaine pushes the lid off and they both jump back. 

Inside is a box of extra large condoms, a bottle of lube, and a pair of suede restraints. “Now I’m sure I’m in shock,” Blaine says, holding up a leather paddle and letting it dangle between his finger and thumb as though he didn't want to touch it more than necessary. 

Kurt slaps his hand over his open mouth. “She’s fucking psychotic,” he says, the words muffled by his palm. 

The paddle lands on the floor with a soft thump. “Let’s just kiss and get out of here. All we have to do,” Blaine says, “is kiss. It doesn't have to mean anything except we want to leave.”

“I…uh…yeah. Okay. We’re going to kiss now,” Kurt announces. He presses his lips against Blaine’s for a fraction of an instant and pulls back. "There, okay?"

“Not good enough,” Sue says. “I’ve hugged Schue with more enthusiasm than that. Do better or leave me alone. I have a performance to judge."

They stare expectantly at the speaker and wait. And wait. And wait.

Blaine fans his face with his hand. "It's too hot in here."

The speaker clicks back on. "Good."

"I mean actually hot, not sexually hot," Blaine yells. "And if you're trying to get me in the mood, then stop playing Nelly!"

"It doesn't matter. I'm raising the temperature until you both take your clothes off. The sight of your naked love will make you kiss."

A section of the wall slides up above the fake elevator controls revealing a tablet screen. A music app shows that the playlist is "Get Klaine Back Together" with over two hundred songs. The music switches to Donna Summer singing Hot Stuff.

Can this get any more ridiculous? Kurt jams the intercom button. “Sue? Goddamn it, Sue, answer me!” He leans against the wall and sinks to the floor. “Fuck,” he moans. 

The bed looms in Kurt’s vision, taunting him. A part of him wants to restrain Blaine to the bed and spank his ass for cheating and causing most of their problems in the first place. A smaller part wants Blaine to tie him to the bed and spank him for breaking up instead of talking and making the problems even worse. “I don’t want to die in here,” Kurt whispers.

“We have a bathroom and a bed. There’s stuff to eat in the box. Chocolate covered strawberries, finger food, a bottle of wine, bagels. We aren’t going to die,” Blaine says.

“I don’t suppose there is a window in the bathroom that we can conveniently escape out of?”

Blaine pokes his head in the bathroom. “No window, but there’s a shower and your favorite Clinique body wash.” He taps on the tablet several times and the music finally stops.

Kurt’s head drops into his hands. They're going to have to kiss for Sue. There's no way around it. 

“We have to kiss,” Kurt says. “I don’t think we can leave any other way."

“It’s just to get out of here,” Blaine says. He rubs his hand up and down Kurt’s arm. “We don’t have to tell a soul. Sue may say something, but no one believes half the crazy shit that comes out of her mouth. You know she stole a DNA sample from me and Dave and has a chart showing we're third cousins."

“You and Dave aren't related," Kurt insists.

“I know. After all this, do you really think Sue isn’t capable of faking a family tree?”

"But Dave...?” Kurt starts, trailing off when he doesn't know how to finish the question.

“This has nothing to do with him. Dave and I were never serious,” Blaine admits. “I asked him to come with me to Scandals because I couldn’t face you alone. He’s changed. Kissing him made me miserable because I knew what he'd done to you.”

“Why would you date someone when it makes you miserable?”

Blaine’s fingers lace together and he lowers his head. “I felt like I deserved it.”

"I get it. I told Walter on our first date that I was on the rebound and anything that happened between us was just sex." Kurt lets out a long sigh. “So if we kiss, it’s for Sue?"

The corner of Blaine’s mouth pulls up into a halfhearted smile. “Yeah.” Blaine holds out a hand and helps Kurt up off the floor.

Closing his eyes, Kurt leans forward. Blaine lets out a whimper when Kurt’s lips find his.

The kiss starts slow. How much enthusiasm is Sue expecting? Oh god, the thought of Sue watching is a mood killer, but Kurt is certain a closed mouth kiss won't cut it. He opens his mouth and licks at the seam of Blaine's lips. 

Blaine gasps and Kurt presses his tongue in before he has a chance to over think things and talk himself out of it. Kurt threads his fingers through the curls at the back of Blaine's head, holding him close. 

Kissing Blaine is everything. He wants to stay in Blaine's arms forever. 

Blaine's hands find Kurt's hips and grip tightly, pulling him closer until their erections touch through a few layers of cloth. 

A tiny voice in Kurt's head tells him to slow down, but he squashes it. He reaches down, grabs Blaine's ass, and squeezes, stroking their tongues together. 

Blaine jerks back and pants. "Was that good enough?" he calls out.

No answer through the speaker and Kurt wants to cry. Of course, Blaine only kissed him to satisfy Sue.

Swallowing back tears, Kurt pushes the button. "Coach Sue, we French kissed. That's about as enthusiastic as we're going to get." Kurt waits for a reply but no answer.

“I love you," Blaine says. "I'm angry you ignored me and I'm angrier at myself for cheating. But it doesn't change how I feel about you."

"I love you, too," Kurt says and throws himself at Blaine. They tumble onto the bed, Blaine lands on his back with Kurt on top of him, both tugging at each other's shirts. The clothes land on the floor, Kurt not caring about wrinkles or treating his designer shirt the way it deserves.

The press of Blaine's naked body against Kurt's is almost enough to make him come. He manages to hold off, running his fingertips along soft skin and kissing Blaine like it’s the last time. "Wanna suck on your dick while you suck on mine," Kurt says against Blaine's mouth.

"Yes, please," Blaine moans. "Want you so much."

It only takes a moment to position themselves on the bed, laying on their sides with their heads on opposite ends. Blaine leans forward and kisses the tip of Kurt's dick, licking at the precome.

Kurt opens his mouth and begins bobbing his head up and down, slowly sinking lower until Blaine's dick hits the back of his throat. He swallows, knowing how Blaine loves being deep throated. 

Arching his back, Blaine breathes, "Holy shit."

Kurt sucks on warm skin, wanting to leave a mark that will last for days, as Blaine thrusts against him. He bites gently, knowing exactly how much is just this side of too much. When he’s satisfied with with hickey, Kurt moves back to blowing Blaine.

Blaine squirms, thrusting his hips, pushing his dick further into Kurt's mouth. 

It's a balance, trying to chase after his own pleasure while making Blaine feel good. The difficulty is to keep bobbing his head while Blaine tries to suck Kurt’s soul out his dick. 

It won't take much, not with the slide of Blaine's tongue making Kurt see stars. Kurt sucks harder, determined to make Blaine come first. A few more sucks and Blaine stills, moaning around Kurt's dick.

Swallowing Blaine through his orgasm is just as sexy as always. Kurt likes the taste and knowing what he does to Blaine. 

Blaine's dick slides from his lips. Kurt nuzzles Blaine's hip, breathing in the scent he missed for so long. Blaine keeps sucking until pleasure washes over Kurt, making every nerve light up and his toes curl. He sags back, fading tingles traveling along his limbs. 

Blaine strokes Kurt's hip, his breathing slowing. "We need to talk."

We need to talk - the last words Kurt ever wants to hear. Why can't Blaine at least wait five fucking minutes for them to bask in the afterglow before "a discussion"? Kurt swallows, closing his eyes and wishing he could hide.

"Oh, sweetheart, no," Blaine says, hugging him tighter. "No, no, no. Not that kind of talk. I mean go for coffee so I can make heart eyes at you and play footsie under the table while we figure out what to tell everyone else."

"We aren't going to tell anyone we had sex in the elevator Sue locked us in to try and get us back together."

"Good god, no. Your dad will kill me if he thinks I took advantage of you."

Kurt snorts, wondering why Blaine thinks that. "My dick was in your mouth." He thrusts forward a little to emphasize the point. "How do you figure he’ll think you took advantage of me?"

"You're his baby. You could tie me to the bed and spank me with that paddle before fucking me and he'd still probably think I took advantage of you."

"I'm not going to spank you," Kurt says. He climbs off Blaine and stands by the bed waiting for something to happen. They kissed and had sex. Why isn't Sue letting them out? 

"Not even for mostly dating Dave to piss you off?" Blaine asks quietly.

"Let me rephrase that. I could probably spank you. Maybe. But I'm not going to spank you with something as tacky as this." Kurt nudges the paddle over with his foot to make sure the tag with the words "50 Shades of Gray" show. "If we're going to get kinky, we need quality stuff and not tacky crap endorsing a book I won't touch with gloves on."

Blaine giggles as Kurt kicks the paddle into the corner. 

Kurt picks up his clothes and begins smoothing the wrinkles out before pulling his underwear on. 

"What are you doing?" Blaine asks.

"I'm going to pull a Maria Von Trapp and make some clothes out of the curtains."

"There aren't any curtains in here," Blaine mutters.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Kurt demands. "We kissed and we had sex. Sue wins. And that means she should be here any minute to let us out and I'd rather not be naked when that happens."

"Good point." Blaine quickly puts on his clothes, making sure everything is tucked in, before wandering into the bathroom. 

Casting a sideways glance at the bed, Kurt decides to make it up. Sue knows they had sex, hell, she probably watched them sucking each other's dicks. But the desire to show some dignity gets him up and straightening the covers.

XOXOXOXO 

Sue sneaks out of the auditorium as soon as Gay : The Big Gay Musical stops squawking. She heads straight to her office, glancing right and left, verifying that no one follows her into her inner sanctum. She quickly pulls on the trophy. 

On the screen, Kurt sits at the foot of the perfectly made bed. Alone. Blaine emerges from the bathroom with his hair helmet in place and sits next to him, not touching. If Sue didn't know better, she'd guess they were strangers waiting for a bus. 

"Are you going to kiss?" she asks.

Kurt jumps, and places his hand on his chest. "We did."

"I've had more erotic encounters with a python. Try again."

"What!" Blaine yells. "We had sex."

"That wasn't sex and you know it," Sue insists. She knows they get substandard sex education crammed down their throats, but they can't possibly think one quick peck on the mouth is sex.

"Fuck you and your heteronormative bullshit," Kurt screams.

Grinding her teeth together in frustration doesn't magically make the picture morph into Klaine sucking face. Sue slams her fist into the trophy, closing the panel, and storms out of her office.

XOXOXOXO

Kurt leaps off the bed and begins jamming at the emergency button with his thumb. "Sue? Sue! SUE!"

No reply.

Blaine looks around wildly. "What are we supposed to do?"

"We had sex," Kurt hisses. "That's why they call it oral sex, not oral-not-sex. 

"Thank you, Dan Savage,” Blaine says, laughing at Kurt's glare.

"What the fuck else could she possibly want us to do?"

"I don't know," Blaine sighs. "Probably fuck each other, but I’ve worked up an appetite." He rummages through the box. “There’s more food in here than I thought. You probably don't want to hear this, but there's enough food for at least two days."

Kurt groans. "Please at least tell me there's something healthy. And non-perishable."

Blaine searches through the box, pulling out food and setting it on the floor in a pile. “Most of it looks like aphrodisiacs. Oysters. Artichokes. Champaign. Chocolate sauce."

"What would you put the chocolate on?"

"Probably you," Blaine says with a leer.

"No way. That'll wreck my skin and I'm not licking it off you. Too many calories. Besides I like the way dick tastes." 

Kurt paces in the confined space, which doesn't help. He just wants to go home and see how many orgasms they can each have before passing out from exhaustion. Someplace where they don't have to worry about what is "proper sex" and who might be watching. 

"There's also power bars, energy drinks, and two thermoses." Blaine twists the cap off one and inhales. "Coffee."

"Coffee doesn't magically make the fact that we're trapped in here better."

"It kind of does." Blaine pours some into the lid and takes a sip followed by a longer drink. "I feel better."

"And what are you going to do when you get all hyper on caffeine?"

"Take a shower." 

"You're going to get naked and take a shower?" Kurt asks incredulously.

"Um, yeah. I usually take a shower naked. You've showered with me before, this shouldn't be a shock that I do it au naturel."

"Sue could be watching."

Blaine shrugs. "If she's watching, then she already saw me come in your mouth. I feel kinda sweaty and if we’re going to be stuck here for a while, I'd rather be clean. It's hot in here. Physically hot." Blaine leans forward, his mouth against Kurt's ear. “And sexually hot.”

It makes sense, Kurt knows it does. But before, he'd been so caught up in the moment that he didn't really think about being observed. Now with a hyper-awareness of his audience, he isn't sure how comfortable he feels getting naked.

"Join me in the shower," Blaine says. "We can squeeze in. I'll even clean your back. And your ass. And your dick. With my tongue."

"That doesn't sound like it's going to get anything clean."

Blaine gazes into Kurt’s eyes. “What would you do right now if you could do anything?”

There is the temptation to say, ’eat a fancy dinner, see a movie, and go on a date.’ Kurt chooses to go with honesty. “Make love to you.”

“We can do that.”

"Fine," Kurt says, "but I expect everything to actually get clean.”

Blaine kisses Kurt quickly before picking up his clothes and grabbing a condom. Humming Hot in Here, he hangs his shirt on the back of the bathroom door. Kurt shakes out his shirt and smooths the fabric before carefully placing it on the other hook.

"How hot do you want it?" Blaine waggles his eyebrows. 

"The water or the sex?" Kurt asks.

"Both?" 

Kurt moves closer. "Hot. Very hot."

Blaine turns on the water and steam begins to waft around the room. "Just focus on us," Blaine says.

Closing his eyes, Kurt concentrates on his breathing. Fuck Sue. Fuck this situation. Fuck everything. He opens his eyes. "I believe someone promised to clean me with his tongue."

The smile that lights up Blaine's face makes Kurt melt inside.

They step into the shower, Kurt glaring at the tacky rubber mat.

Blaine wraps an arm around Kurt's waist and kisses the back of his neck. "We could have sex in here without worrying about slipping," Blaine says, tapping the mat with his foot.

"Oh god, yes." Kurt turns and kisses Blaine, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and biting gently. 

Blaine moans into Kurt's mouth, gripping him tighter, rubbing their half hard dicks together. "Soap first, sex after."

Kurt sticks his lower lip out.

"I'm immune to your puppy dog eyes," Blaine says. He squirts a dollop of body wash onto the bath poof and rubs it slowly over Kurt's chest. Reaching around, Blaine pulls them together, cleaning Kurt's back while they kiss. Blaine's fingers travel lower, teasing Kurt’s entrance.

Kurt's dick twitches, leaking fluid. "You better hurry up or I'm going to make a mess."

Blaine drops to his knees and whispers, "Turn around."

"Okay," Kurt says, his voice low and breathy. He leans his arms on the wall, resting his forehead against the tile. 

Strong hands spread his cheeks apart and a warm wet tongue licks. Kurt whimpers and moves his legs as far apart as he can in the confined space. Warm breath ghosts over his hole and the muscles clench.

"Mmmmm," Blaine murmurs. 

And then all Kurt can do is feel Blaine kissing, and licking, and sucking his sensitive rim. Blaine's tongue presses inside. The grip on his hips tighten and it’s like being eaten alive. Kurt pushes back into the sensation and Blaine moans, sticking his tongue in as far as he can reach. 

Fluid drips in a steady stream from the tip of Kurt's cock and his hands fist, but he doesn’t touch his dick. He pants, so turned on he isn’t sure how he can still stand up with the overwhelming pleasure of Blaine licking into his ass.

The tongue disappears and Kurt looks over his shoulder. Blaine sits back on his heels, water streaming down his beautiful body. His dick curved up, dripping precome and twitching. "Can I fuck you?" Blaine asks.

"Yes." 

Kurt helps Blaine to his feet. Blaine rips open a condom and rolls it on his dick. Kurt pours lube on his fingers.

When Kurt is sure Blaine has his balance, he jumps into Blaine's arms, wrapping his legs around Blaine's waist. Blaine leans them against the wall. Kurt reaches around to stick two of his fingers in his ass. He thrusts them in and out a few times and spreads his fingers apart. He should probably use at least three. Blaine isn't small, but he wants Blaine to stretch him. 

Kurt removes his fingers and strokes his hand up and down Blaine's dick. "I'm ready,"

Blaine grips the base of his dick and lines it up with Kurt's hole. Still sensitive from Blaine's mouth, Kurt lets out a long low moan as Blaine presses in until he bottoms out. Blaine thrusts, pushing Kurt against the wall and hitting his prostate at the perfect angle. 

The awkwardness of kissing Blaine's neck while being pounded into the wall doesn’t diminish how amazing he feels. 

"Grab your dick," Blaine pants. "Want to come with you."

Shifting to get a better angle, Kurt strokes himself in time with Blaine rocking into his body. Moving his hand faster, Kurt sucks at the skin where Blaine's shoulder meets his neck. Kurt bites down harder and Blaine howls, holding Kurt tightly.

Kurt fists his dick, stroking hard and fast as Blaine pants into his mouth. A few more thrusts against his prostate and Kurt comes so hard, he sees stars.

He melts against the wall and let Blaine fuck him hard and fast. Blaine stills, his dick twitching, and he leans his head against Kurt's shoulder. "That was amazing."

"Of course it was," Kurt says. 

Blaine laughs against Kurt's skin. "We should untangle. And get clean."

"Fine, be that way," Kurt says. 

They quickly finish cleaning up and go back into the main part of the elevator. Blaine flops back on the bed, naked. "I don't want to put my clothes back on. This is worse than doing the walk of shame."

Jealousy that Blaine probably has done the walk of shame stabs at Kurt. He forces himself to take a deep breath. The past can’t be changed, but he can control how he reacts in the present. 

Kurt goes to the button panel and presses the button. "We kissed and had sex in the shower so you can let us out now."

No answer. 

"I give up, I want a nap." Kurt lays down next to Blaine and closes his eyes. The multicolored lights from the disco ball play across his lids. Kurt turns over onto his stomach. The lights get more annoying the longer he lays there. 

"What's wrong?" Blaine asks. 

"The lights are driving me crazy."

Blaine leans over the edge of the bed and pulls something out of the box. "Here you go," he says, tossing a blindfold at Kurt. 

Kurt raises his eyebrows.

"You can use it as a sleep mask," Blaine says. "I'm using the other one."

"That's a good idea." Kurt puts on the mask and checks that the strap will keep it secure. He lays down again, wiggling a little to get comfortable. 

"Love you," Blaine says, and his lips briefly find Kurt's.

"Love you, too," Kurt murmurs before sleep pulls him into unconsciousness.

XOXOXOXO 

Sam stares at the screen in Sue's office. Blaine and Kurt are asleep in a small room with a disco ball casting colored lights over their mostly naked bodies.

"Are they kissing?" Sue asks over the ear piece.

"No," Sam answers.

"What are they doing?"

"Sleeping."

"Are they at least naked?" Sue asks, her tone pissed.

They have on the sleep masks, so Sam says, "No."

"God damn it to hell. Why won't they kiss?" Sue yells.

"They're asleep," Sam says. "They can't kiss if they're asleep."

"We have to provide some inspiration."

XOXOXOXO 

Kurt blinks his eyes open. Blaine’s hand rests on the curve of his hip, his erection digging into the small of Kurt’s back. “Awe, fuck me,” Kurt moans.

Blaine kisses Kurt’s shoulder. “Is that an invitation? Cuz I’m ready.” 

"No, it's not an invitation," Kurt mutters, pressing his face into the pillow and wishing he could make this go away. 

"Are you sure?" Blaine asks. "We're alone. We're naked. I'm in the mood." 

"Well, I'm not,” Kurt says. "What's that?" he asks, pointing at the panel on the wall above the opening the food came out of. 

"Don't know." Blaine climbs off the bed and inspects the dark rectangle. "I think it's a TV screen and a DVD player." Blaine picks up three boxes. We have some movies." He flips through them quickly and blushes. "Never mind." 

"What movies,” Kurt asks, fairly sure he doesn't want to know.

"Moulin Splouge! and You've Got Mail. Oh and Top Gun."

“Let's watch You've Got Mail. I can use a break and I get to be Meg Ryan."

"Um...It's porn, all porn. It's You've Got M. A. L. E. So you get to be Fetch Dixon. Or maybe Zack O'Tool."

Kurt blinks. "Do I even want to ask what it's about?" 

"Two guys are having cyber sex not realizing that they hate each other in real life. Wait a minute, this is actually Top Gun. Not a gay porn spoof."

"Top Gun *is* pretty gay. And by gay, I mean homoerotic, not stupid. But I think it’s stupid, too.” Kurt drops his head into his hands and groans. "Maybe if we use the stuff she left us? I'm running out of ideas here."

"I knew you wanted to spank me." Blaine smiles, and for one moment, everything is bright and shiny.

"I really don't, but if that's your attitude, I may change my mind." 

"You can. I know you won't do it too hard," Blaine says. 

"I suppose it can be more playful than painful," Kurt says. "But let's eat first.” He doesn’t bother to get dressed.

Blaine spreads out the food on the bed, picnic style. The coffee isn't as hot as Kurt likes, but it's better than no caffein at all. He isn't thrilled about not having cream cheese for his bagel, but he knows he won't eat dairy products that have been sitting out all night. Hunger overrides the desire to complain. And besides, this isn't Blaine's fault. The sex is great and he’s admiring the view, but all Kurt wants is to go home and have Blaine in his own bed. 

Blaine keeps smiling between bites of bagel. "I'm exactly where I want to be," he says. "I know everything is completely ridiculous, but at least I'm here with you." 

"I give up. If Sue wants us to use all the stuff, let’s use all the stuff," Kurt says. He brushes the crumbs off the bed and onto the floor, not caring that someone - not him - will have to clean it up. Blaine puts the uneaten food back in the box.

"Do you want to spank me or have me spank you?" Blaine asks. 

"I'd rather spank you," Kurt says. He's never been a masochist, not that he thinks Blaine wants to hurt him. He and Blaine have hurt each other enough. God, this makes everything so confusing. Light bondage has a certain appeal, but not in a fake elevator at the high school built on top of the hell mouth. 

"Should we use a blindfold, too?"

"We used those for sleeping, but that probably doesn't count." 

"Who knows what counts besides proper straight sex which we can't do since neither of us has a vagina." 

Blaine laughs. "I'm so glad you don't have a vagina. Use the paddle a few times and then you can fuck me. If that doesn't count then we're probably going to be stuck here forever."

Kurt grabs the paddle from the floor and smacks it against his palm, and then he does it again a little harder. It stings, but it doesn't really hurt. He lets out a sigh. It probably won't hurt *hurt* Blaine, but he isn't sold on the idea. 

Blaine drapes his body over the end of the bed. "It's okay, Kurt." 

Kurt grits his teeth and brings the paddle down on Blaine's ass with a loud smack.

"You can do it harder than that," Blaine says. 

"Here goes nothing." Kurt swings the paddle a second time. Blaine lets out a moan when it makes contact with his skin. The paddle slips from Kurt's fingers, landing on the bed. "I'm so sorry. This is a bad idea. Sue can let us out or not, I don't care. I don't want to hurt you."

Blaine turns and smiles over his shoulder. "It doesn’t really hurt. It kind of stings a little. In a good way."

"I'm sorry," Kurt says. "I just can't. Maybe you can spank me." 

"Hey, no," Blaine says as he sits up and hugs Kurt. "This is obviously freaking you out. We'll think of something else. Now I really want to curl up and watch a movie." Blaine grimaces. "Come on, let's at least get dressed." 

Kurt nods, not trusting himself to speak. 

"We could try You've Got Male," Kurt suggests. He doesn’t want to put on the same underwear for the third or fourth time. When they get out of the elevator, he is going to kill Sue. 

"Why Mr. Hummel, are you saying you want to watch one of *those* movies?" 

"If we could watch Breakfast at Tiffany's, then I'd suggest that, but since our options are severely limited, we'll try this one. At least it looks like it might have a bit of a plot."

Blaine lets out a bark of laughter. "You do realize that the plot of most porn is how often can we show people having sex, right?" 

"I haven't watched much porn, so no, I'm not aware of that from personal experience. But I can guess.” The failed spanking killed the mood and Kurt wants something to laugh about.

Blaine finishes dressing and puts the movie in the DVD player. 

Music begins with the opening credits. It isn't quite "bow chicka wow wow," but it's close. Kurt lets out a giggle. This movie is terrible. The actors have no chemistry, despite them both being ridiculously gorgeous. And it mostly shows them jerking off at their computers and bickering at each other when they meet in real life. 

"Jesus, how may times can they masturbate in one day? My dick would fall off if I did that," Kurt says. 

"Then please don't. I like your dick attached. Although, maybe we can have sex until our dicks fall off and then we can sing Detachable Penis and Sue will have to let us out. 

Kurt bursts out laughing. "Is there really a song called that or are you pulling my leg? 

"Yes, and be quiet, we're missing the movie." 

XOXOXOXO 

"Report on Klaine," Sue says in Sam’s ear. 

"They're watching a movie," Sam answers. 

“Excellent. Are they naked and making out?" 

"No." 

"Then what the hell are they doing?" 

"Sitting on the bed with their clothes on and laughing." 

"God damn it. I got those movies out of the bargain bin at Indecent Exposure. Klaine should be getting it on." 

"Okay," Sam says, unsure if Sue expects a response or wants him to do something. He waits. Sue will tell him what to do.

A girl with long brown hair and an insanely short skirt pokes her head into Sue's office. 

"Sam," she hisses, "what are you doing in here? Sue's going to kill you." She grabs his hand and drags him out of there.

XOXOXOXO 

The movie gets slightly more interesting when the characters decide to meet up in real life for sex. The yelling about this, that, and the other turns into angry sex followed by slow and sweet.

Blaine kisses Kurt on the temple. "Are you blushing?" he asks. 

“Um...," Kurt stammers. "A little. The beginning was stupid, but now it's kind of sweet. I don't know." 

"It's okay," Blaine says. "Porn is designed to turn people on so you don't need to be embarrassed if it's working.”

"I guess." Kurt shrugs. "It's just that this is stupid porn and anytime I've tried watching this kind of stuff before, It didn't turn me on and it's weird that it’s working now. Especially because Sue picked out this movie." 

"I'm pretty sure she got it out of the bargain bin," Blaine says and holds up the box. A large $1 sale sticker is on the cover.

Kurt buries his face in his hands. "That's even worse. Not only am I getting turned on by porn Sue picked out, it's discount porn that cost a dollar." 

"It doesn't matter. I love you. And it's getting to me, too. Although I think that has more to do with you getting squirmy than the movie. Because it’s pretty bad."

Kurt pauses the movie. 

"What-" Blaine starts to say, but Kurt cuts him off by pressing their lips together. He pushes Blaine back on the bed and straddles his lap. 

"This isn't watching the movie," Blaine says, between kisses. 

"No, it's not. Do you care?" 

"Nope, can't say that I do." Blaine falls back onto the mattress and Kurt follows him down. 

"I don't know why we bothered getting dressed."

"Me either, but I feel weird knowing I'm at McKinley, naked and having sex. 

"Too worried to get naked and have sex right now?" Blaine asks. 

"No."

They kiss slowly, taking the time to enjoy every sensation. Blaine thrusts his tongue between Kurt's lips and moans into his mouth. He strokes down Kurt's arms, leaving a trail of heat where his fingers touch. 

"It's my turn to fuck you," Kurt says. 

"Oh really?" Blaine asks playfully. "What if I want to fuck you?" 

"Then you're out of luck. Because if we’re having sex right now, it's going to involve my dick in your ass. Would you like that Blaine," Kurt asks as he trails kisses up Blaine's neck and sucks on his ear lobe. "Do you want my big, hard, cock in your ass?" 

Blaine's dick throbs between them. 

"I'll take that as a yes," Kurt says. He reaches under the pillow and pulls out the bottle of lube. Over half empty. Kurt wonders if it can be considered healthy to go through an entire bottle in about a day. Or more. He really has no idea what time it is, or even what day. Damn Sue to hell. What does she want them to do, have off-screen sex like in Moulin Rouge?

"That's it," Kurt says as inspiration strikes. "We need to sing a song. That's the only way to convince Sue we're actually together. Glee club sings songs to get together, break up, and make up." Kurt bites his bottom lip. "So what do we sing?" 

"I'm assuming you don't mean Detachable Penis?" 

"Blaine," Kurt growls. "Be serious.” 

"How about Give Me A Reason by Pink?" 

"No, Puck and Quinn sang that when they got back together." 

"How about Summer Loving?"

"Sam and Mercedes sang that."

"Stereo Hearts?" 

"Sam and Mercedes sang that, too."

"Sue isn't going to care if the song has been sung by someone else in Glee club." 

Kurt stares at Blaine with his patented "bitch, please" glare. "She'll think we aren't being serious if we don't come up with something original." 

"Um....I Want You Back by Michael Jackson?" 

"The Warblers sang that during Michael Week." 

"How would she know that?" Blaine demands. 

"She knows everything. She probably has cameras everywhere. Hell, she's probably monitoring our dream sequences." 

Blane raises one eyebrow, but wisely refrains from commenting. 

"What we need," Kurt continues, "is a getting back together song that will convince Sue to let us out." Kurt paces around the bed. "Ugh, I'm starting to feel claustrophobic again." He tucks the bedspread into the mattress and folds it up into the wall. "That's a little better," he says with a sigh. 

"I think I've got it," Blaine says. "It's not really a getting back together song, but it's perfect for the situation." 

"Hit me with your best shot," Kurt says. 

“No, we sang that during mash-up week.” Blaine sticks out his tongue. "Let me see if it's on the music list.” He scans the playlist. And scans and scans. "Yahtzee!" 

The music starts and Kurt can't quite place the song. "Who is this," he asks. 

"Aerosmith." 

And when the lyrics begin, Kurt realizes he's heard it before. Thank you Finn and his love of classic rock. 

Working like a dog for the boss man 

Working for the company

I'm betting on the dice that I'm tossing 

I'm gonna have a fantasy 

Arms crossed and a scowl on his face, Kurt says, "This better not be your fantasy, Blaine. Because Sue has ruined it for me." He allows Blaine to pull him into the dance.

Love in an elevator 

Livin’ it up while I'm going down 

Love in an elevator

Livin’ it up till I hit the ground.

Blaine grinds, his leg between Kurt's. It feels so good and Kurt wants to rock against Blaine, just keep rocking until they come in each other's arms. This is Kurt's idea so, with a deep breath, he joins in the song, trying to sing while his body is screaming at him to keep thrusting. 

Gonna be a penthouse pauper 

Gonna be a millionaire 

I'm gonna be a real fast talker 

And have myself a love affair 

The guitar solo starts and Blaine leans Kurt against the wall next to the door. Blaine pushes their hips together, creating the most delicious friction. Kurt hardens and he moans. Coming in his pants when he has no access to clean underwear is such a bad idea. He can go commando, but it chafes. 

All concerns about his underwear fly from his mind when Blaine begins sucking a hickey on his neck. Blaine pulls away and sinks to his knees. 

Love in an elevator 

Livin' it up while I'm going down 

Love in an elevator 

Livin’ it up till we hit the ground. 

Blaine yanks down Kurt's pants and underwear with a swift movement, not bothering to remove his own clothes. Blaine wraps his lips around Kurt's dick and sucks. 

"I've come so much since we got stuck in here that this might take a while," Kurt says. 

Blaine pulls off long enough to say, "Don't care," and goes back to sucking. 

Kurt thrusts into Blaine's mouth slow and shallow. It feels amazing, but he knows his orgasm is miles off and he isn't sure about the etiquette of receiving a blow job when he isn't sure he can come in a reasonable amount of time. He loves Blaine, loves him despite everything that happened. But he knows that his jaw would get sore if it took Blaine forever.

The song repeats and Kurt tries to keep singing despite Blaine swallowing around his dick. 

XOXOXOXO 

“Why are you in here again?" a girl demands. She sweeps her long brown hair over her shoulder. 

“We should get some coffee," Sam says, trying to distract the girl. And how does she know his name?

She glances at the screen. ”I don't want coffee, I want to know when Kurt and Blaine sang Love in an Elevator because it's not from high school and that looks like the shirt Kurt had on yesterday before he blew off the invitational." 

"Let's go see a movie," Sam says. Girls like going on dates to the movies, right? 

"Snap out of it," the girl says and snaps her fingers in front of Sam's face. 

It feels like getting punched in the guts. Why is he in Sue's office? And why is Rachel here? Sue is going to murder everything he loves. 

"What the hell is this," Rachel demands. 

"It looks like Kurt and Blaine singing Love in an Elevator...while they are having sex in the elevator." 

"Did you talk to Blaine yesterday?" 

"Yeah. So?" 

"Is that what he was wearing?" 

"I think so, but his sweaters and bow ties all kind of look the same to me.” A half-formed thought flits through Sam’s mind. “Something about Kurt and Blaine in an elevator….”

"Wait a minute, Rachel says. "Wasn't there a sign in the hallway about an elevator under construction?"

"I don't know. And I don't know why I'm in here or what's going on.”

"Come on let's go,” Rachel says. 

They run down the hallway to the corded off elevator. Sam leans his ear against the door and listens. A faint vibration buzzes against his skin.

Brittany's face suddenly appears in front of Sam. "What are you doing?" Brittany asks.

"I think Kurt and Blaine are stuck in there,” Rachel says. “How do we get the door open?” 

"You press the button," Brittany says, leaning forward and poking it with her finger. 

XOXOXOXO

Kurt has Blaine bent over the side of the bed moaning and whimpering as he fucks him hard. The bruising grip on Blaine's hips gives him the perfect leverage to thrust over and over and over. He chases after his orgasm, not quite able to grasp it. Kurt is starting to wonder if his dick is broken. He is so close. Just a little more.

The doors slide open and Kurt freezes. Rachel charges in only to yelp and hold her hand over her eyes. Brittany walks in followed by Sam. Kurt opens his mouth, but the only sound that comes out is a small squeak. 

Blaine waves. "Hey, guys."

"This isn't what it looks like," Kurt yelps. 

"Oh." Brittany tilts her head to the side. "Cuz you look like you're waiting for marriage."

Kurt blinks a few times. 

"Waiting for marriage for what?" Blaine asks.

"To have sex."

"Um, we're having sex right now," Kurt says.

"Anal isn't sex. Chris Patterson said I was still a virgin after we did anal."

"No, you weren't," Sam insists.

"I know. I'd already had sex with Sean Penn."

Kurt wants to pinch the bridge of his nose and shake his head, but he's afraid the movement will push him over the edge. "Can you guys, like, close your eyes or something so we can finish up?" he asks.

"You two missed the competition so you could have sex here at school?" Rachel asks flatly. "You're in soooooooo much trouble."

"It's not sex," Brittany mumbles.

“Yes, it is. My two gay dads-"

"Nope," Kurt interrupts. "I am *not* listening to you talk about your dads having sex. And way to jump to conclusions. Sue locked us in here to force us to get back together."

"Did you?" Brittany asks.

"They're having sex," Rachel says. "They're together."

"Santana and I do it all the time and we're not together."

"Can we discuss this later?" Kurt demands. "Or never. Never would be better. Just turn around or something." There are three kinds of people in the world - those that understand Brittany and those that don't. He really doesn't want to be someone who understands her right now.

Rachel's hand remains over her eyes. Sam turns around. Brittany stands there smiling, gaze focused on Kurt and Blaine. 

Kurt knows he can’t let go enough to come with Brittany watching. He whispers, "We can finish this later." Sliding himself out requires several deep breaths to stay in control. Despite his efforts to keep himself covered, he’s pretty sure Brittany gets an eyeful when he reaches down to yank his underwear up. Stuffing his dick back in his pants should be easy. All the blood in his body feels like it’s in his face, so why is he still hard? 

Blaine uses his position on the bed to keep his dick covered while he gets his pants sorted out. 

Kurt makes a half hearted attempt to fix his hair before giving up. He walks out of the elevator, head high, and what he hopes is a neutral expression on his face. 

Blaine looks perfectly relaxed, if a little sweaty. "Thanks for the rescue, guys. Sorry you had to walk in on that."

"I'm not," Brittany says.

"What are you going to do now?" Rachel asks. 

For a moment, Kurt is tempted to inform her that he’s dragging Blaine home and fucking him all night long. Instead, he says, "I'm going to find Sue and strangle her with the strap on her megaphone."

"She's gone too far this time. Let's go to her office." Rachel stomps off, a determined look on her face. Sam and Brittany Hurry after.

Blaine shrugs, hanging back. He whispers, "Should we tell Sue I really did break up with Dave a few days ago and we told the truth about getting back together?" 

"Are you out of your mind?” Kurt asks softly. “If you tell her we got back together voluntarily she'll try to break us up, again."

 

The End

Review and kudos make my day. If you have a moment, let me know what you thought.

**Author's Note:**

> http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/50716.html?thread=64803868#t64803868
> 
> Forget the creepy Sue doll demanding that Kurt and Blaine kiss. I want Sue providing them with all sorts of sexy stuff - starting with condoms, and lube and going to dildos, restraints, and other toys. They can either give in when Sue demands that they fuck each other or she can insist they kiss and get so into it that they decide to have sex. 
> 
> Want  
> \- switch Klaine. Sue did say they are both femmy tops  
> \- lots of sex in lots of positions
> 
> Do Not Want  
> \- Blaine/Dave angst to be a big part of this, but a little is okay  
> \- non-con. I get that it's dub-con situation, but no actually forcing sex on the other  
> \- hard kinks or watersports. There is a bathroom after all!  
> \- unusual anatomy
> 
> Bonus Points  
> \- sex in the shower because Sue really thought of everything
> 
> Extra Bonus Points  
> \- someone singing love in a elevator
> 
> Short Prompt: I want Klaine fucking each other like rabbits while trapped in the elevator.


End file.
